FALLING LIKE ALICE

Life is one of the many greatest miracles in the universe. It it a symbol of existence. It is a symbol of growing. We start our lives crawling round and having grandmas going Peek-a-boo! Who's a cute baby? Yeah? Who's cute baby? and pinching our cheeks. Gradually we start walking and exploring the world. We get independence (and bruises from falling over). When we're around 5-6 years old, we start school. About 12-13 years later, you've just graduated from college and now face a major choice; do you go into the real world or do you opt in for the safer option of 3, 5, 8? years of university. Many people opt for the three or five years approach. After university there's no turning back, the real world is coming. You're stood on the edge of the university's door and in a minute you're about to get a gentle push in the tush.

After that "tush-push", many students might feel like Alice, after she's fallen down the rabbit hole.  Everything is new, weird and scary, but at the same time a bit exciting.

I'm at the "just-started-crawling-into-the-rabbit-hole" stage. It's not long before my "tush-push" comes. And that's when the scary bit comes. Coming up in May, I'm turning 22. So for 16 (!) years of my life I've been in school. For 16 years, the life has been laid out in front of me. Decisions have been made for me by society. Then all of a sudden, it's not anymore. Many people find this idea daunting, the idea of not knowing what's next.

For the past weeks, maybe even months, I've been trailing the web for motivational speeches. To find something that will give me an indication how I can find my path, or "destiny" if you like. To find out my dreams.
When you're in year 10 of school and are about to start college, the standard approach from the school guidance counselor is to say Okay, write down your interests, beginning with the one you like the most. The top three should be you top three school choices. Done. Often that is the case. But how do you define interests? And what is the difference between interest and passion?

Life coach Jessica McGregor Johnson defines the difference as follows:

A passion is something you can't live without - When it is missing from your life, you feel a hole and it nags away at you. You constantly wish that you were doing, living, being, or having it.
An interest rouses your curiosity - An interest is a more intellectual thing; something that you want to discover more about. It ‘peaks your interest’.
(Source: Careershifters.org)


Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. - Henry David Thoreau


Ever watched TED talks? They are AMAZING! Don't know what TED is? Long story short, TED stands for "Technology, Entertainment, Design". It is a conference that meets every year. People give talks about many things, for example, science, art, and business.

I watched this talk by Tony Robbins today and it was really good. He spoke about the basic needs and dreams of human and how these can be achieved. It's talks like this that makes me think; What do I want to do?

Your parents, family, university and society as a whole, has got an opinion how you should live your life. Your parents and family want you close, in a secure job and see you establishing a life. The university wants you to work within the industry you've have got a degree in, promoting their course.
And the society has got a ton of social conventions of how things should be. It tries to dictate how to live the "perfect" life and what conventions you need to abide by to get there.

That is the reality for many graduates (and also people in general). We let others dictate our life. We let other people decided for us what we should do, based on their past decisions. I'm STARTING, to realise that I need to stop letting other people decided for me and only let them guide me, if needs be. Sometimes what you want, is completely different from what your parents and family want for you and that can be hard. You're afraid to hurt them. To push them away. This sometimes results in a compromise, a compromise which consists of your parents/family's place, structure and type and your fading dreams and wishes.
That feeling can be destructive, on your dreams and your life. For me, I need to stop thinking what everyone else wants and find out what I want. That's it. But that's easier said than done. I've got people I care about both here in UK and in Norway. I feel home in both countries. Having to choose between them is probably one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my life.

NEXT TIME: Looking into the cost of living, job market and possibilities in UK and Norway. The result might shock you. And yes, I have got a plan, even though it may not seem so. Maybe all this, can inspire you.

Today's song: Avril Lavigne - Alice

THIRD CULTURE ADULT

A documentary by Adrian Bautista about TCKs.

A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.

I know several people who are TCKs, who are born Norwegian, but spent half their life in Asian countries or people born in a different country that live in Norway. From what I've been told this can be a challenging life, but also an fun upbringing.

But I would like to talk about "normal" kids growing up in one country and then in later life becoming a "TCA", Third Culture Adult. I don't know if that's an official expression, but I just thought I'd start using it.

Being a third culture person in general is the feeling that you somehow belong to two (or more) different cultures. You feel a connection to several countries, that "home" is a hard word to define.

This is how I feel. I feel like a "TCA". My nationality is (and will always be) Norwegian and my home country is Norway. But if you were to ask me "Where is home?" I'd have a hard time answering that. Because I feel that here, Swansea, is my home. This is where my life is. But then again, I often refer to Norway as "home-home".

Top left; Norwegian flight from Norway to UK Top right:Wales-England border. Bottom left: Norwegian flight Bottom right: Train from Swansea to Gatwick

But what is home?

The dictionary defines "home" as follows:

              home - /hōm/
              Noun - The place where one lives permanently, esp. as a member of a family or household.

So a home is where you live? But it also says where you are part of a family or household. Then what defines family? I define family as the people closest to you that you can't push away no matter what. To me family isn't all about blood relation. Just cause you're blood, doesn't make you family. You've gotta earn that. I don't believe that just because you're blood you need to like each other, need to have contact or anything. Having said that, I've always believed that being close with your family is key and that there's very few things that beats a family dinner.
I consider my housemates, all 10 of them, to be like a family, a slightly dysfunctional family, but never the less a family. We might fight with each other, but we can't get rid of each other.
When I'm tired after a long day of uni, I say I'm going home.

So home is where you live and are a part of some type of community, but it may also change. Swansea would then be my home for now, but if I moved away then that place could be my new home.

The reason I've decided to write about this is because over the next few months, I'm faced with a choice. I have to choose where my home is going to be. A choice which many of my fellow international students face every year. Where will we end up? And quite frankly I'm absolutely terrified!

If anyone asks me if moving to a different country to live and study is worth it, I always said yes and that if you don't live at least a year in another country I think you're missing out on life, BUT.... there's one negative reason about living in a different country. The choice when your studies are done.

If I could split myself in two, I would. One part to Norway and one to stay here in the UK.
A part of me feel that the "right choice" is to move back to Norway because here I've got my parents, grandparents, sisters, uncles, aunties, cousins and friends. And it's also a logical choice because the unemployment rate is Norway is stupidly low. I mean, compared to other countries, it's so easy to actually get a job (any job that is) it's ridiculous. But then again, family and friends will always be there. As long as you're good to maintain contact through Facebook, Skype, email etc. it should be fine.

Then my other half feel a connection to UK and Wales after having spent 2.5 years so far here. I've built a life for myself here. I've got a bank account, job and friends. I know most of the staff in the gym I go to. It's a life.

Though I grew up in Norway, I actively looked for English in my childhood. When I was 13-14, I used to go to the library near where I lived and read The Times and Daily Mail. I watched BBC World News and BBC Entertainment (international BBC channel, not in the UK). I've read more English books (British mostly) than Norwegian in my life. I can't stand 90% of Norwegian films (a post for itself).
And I've got English family, which we (my family) don't have any contact with anymore, but still. I grew up in Norway with British traditions and language. I've never used the Norwegian word for "toast" (rista brød), I've always used the English word "toast". When my mum made pancakes I'd always have lemon and sugar on it. Or for Christmas, we'd normally never have the traditional Norwegian ribbe (whole side of pork). We always had ham roast, British tradition. The first thing I was taught in English was by grandma when I was a toddler, which was the nursing rhyme Humpty Dumpty. I was never taught the Norwegian version, Lille Trille.

My list goes on and on. Though I say I'm proud to be Norwegian, I wouldn't mind not saying it. If that made any sense. Like when people ask where in Wales/UK I'm from and I go I live in Swansea, but I'm originally from Norway and they get surprised and say they would never had guessed that, then I feel proud. I feel happy that I've integrated so well that they don't pick it up anymore.

Needless to say I'm a little culturally confused. Many people have all this. They grow up in a different country and/or with foreign family. And all this is mashed together at high speed and volà, the result is you. Depending on where in the world I get kids, I'd want them to be bilingual. If the kids were growing up in Norway, I'd still speak both English and Norwegian at home. And many people feel that way. They feel they want to give their child the best head start in life, to be able to explore.

I bought this book on eBay for 99p, a used former library book.

But when I graduate I don't want to settle down. I want to travel. I want to travel the world. And my plan is that if that goes alright, it could become my new career. Like Peter Pan said "I won't grow up". So neither country can have me. My dream is to work for Travel Channel and make the entire world my home. That way I won't let anyone down.

Q: Do you feel a bit like a TCK or "TCA"? What's your choice?


Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You'll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey. - Tad Williams


Today's song: Rascal Flatts - Life is a high

A LOT HAS HAPPENED

Wow, it's been a while now. Well do I have a story for you, because a lot has happened since last time we spoke.

On Friday the 18th of January there was Swansea's first snowday and some friends and I decided to go sledding down a hill. More like a tiny slope, not even steap... Anyway, after 20 minutes of sledding I manage to do the most stupid thing known to man. I, the Norwegian who referred to himself as the king of snow a few hours earlier on Facebook, managed to brake my leg.

Yup that's right. As I was going down, I landed wrong. I got my right leg caught underneath my left leg, landed wrong and felt (and heard) three cracks in my leg... MMM! I know right. Basically what I did was manage to break the bone (not the big one, the other), dislocate my foot and expand my anklejoint. Basically  what the last bit is that my foot popped out of its joint and shifted 5 cm to the right. Now that was fun!

On the Sudnay after, the 20th, I had an operation where they basically put everything back together and put one srew on either side of my ankle. After 12-15 weeks they can come out again and I won't have any long term damage. I'll have no long term damage if everything heals alright, so I can still run like I always do. So I am considering myself to be lucky, it could have gone a lot worse. The man with no shoes considers himself lucky when sits next to a man with no legs.

All this is nevertheless come at a very unlucky time of my life. Being in my third and final year of uni, being in bed all day isn't exactly the most optimal thing. But I'll get there in the end, only 16 days to go before I can start walking again! Yes, I'm counting, of course I am.

Being confined to crutches and a wheelchair has really taught me something; never take your legs for granted. I can't believe how difficult it must be for someone who's in a wheelchair on a permanent basis to get out and about. Just something as simple like going to the shops or to uni has proven to be a hard workout. Curbs. My biggest enemy, curbs, and getting up them.

Anyhoodle, I'll get back out there and I'll hit the ground running! I WILL finish uni on time. I'm doing my best to prepare as much as possible when it comes to work, so I can get right at it.

Today's song: P!nk - Raise your glass

IF MONEY WAS NO OBJECT, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

The full text:
“So I always ask the question: What would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life? Well it’s so amazing as the result of our kind of educational system, crowds of students say ‘Well, we’d like to be painters, we’d like to be poets, we’d like to be writers’ But as everybody knows you can’t earn any money that way! Another person says ‘Well I’d like to live an out-of-door’s life and ride horses.’ I said ‘You wanna teach in a riding school?’

Let’s go through with it. What do you want to do? When we finally got down to something which the individual says he really wants to do I will say to him ‘You do that! And forget the money!’ Because if you say that getting the money is the most important thing you will spend your life completely wasting your time! You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living – that is to go on doing things you don’t like doing! Which is stupid! Better to have a short life that is full of which you like doing then a long life spent in a miserable way. And after all, if you do really like what you are doing – it doesn’t really matter what it is – you can eventually become a master of it. It’s the only way of becoming the master of something, to be really with it. And then you will be able to get a good fee for whatever it is. So don’t worry too much, somebody is interested in everything. Anything you can be interested in, you’ll find others who are.

But it’s absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don’t like in order to go on spending things you don’t like, doing things you don’t like and to teach our children to follow the same track. See, what we are doing is we are bringing up children and educating to live the same sort of lifes we are living. In order they may justify themselves and find satisfaction in life by bringing up their children to bring up their children to do the same thing. So it’s all retch and no vomit – it never gets there! And so therefore it’s so important to consider this question:
What do I desire?”

- Alan Watts
Source: Fstoppers.com

Start to think here and try have an answer by the end: If money was no object, what would you do?

What would I do? That video really made me think. What do I want to do with my life? What are MY dreams? If I could do anything in the world, what would that be.

The real world and future seems to be big and ugly, but why should it be? I know for a fact that those questions are running through 99.99% of all final year students is What am I doing after this? Currently the media students graduating in the UK have a very dim future ahead of them. Cause it's 1 job position per 300 graduates, I read that on BBC ages ago (unfortunately I couldn't find the link, so please don't quote me on that figure.) Many I talk to find out after university that they don't want to work with that any more  that they want to do something else.
About here my mother, and probably your parents too, would say Well if you're not going to work as it what's the point in taking that course then?!? Well the answer to that is simple; many things you learn in life can be adapted. For example I have a good mate who studied Media and Communication with me in college for three years. He's now studying to become a primary school teacher. But that doesn't mean his media skills won't be relevant, quite the contrary  He could easily use that to teach the kids for example. Besides it's not always that easy to know what you want to do at the age of 18... It's quite scary some times. So even though you might not want to work directly within the field you have studied, you can always use it. Some really clever people once told that you shouldn't feel like you have to stay put. It's never too late to change. How is an 18 year old supposed to know what he/she wants to do? I bet that you felt a similar feeling as well and you might still be feeling it.

Check out my jogging/hiking route here: Endomondo

As I was running up in Kilvey Hill Community Woodland for about 1.5 hours yesterday, I kept thinking about this video and about what Alan Watts said. When I was running to the very top of the hill, I felt a sensation of peace I haven't felt in a while. I felt calm. I felt like I simply existed without actually over thinking it all. That's why I run. Because I love and need that feeling once in a while. Anyhoodle, side tracking here. The question was in the back of my head the whole way and first when I was standing in the 1m by 1m shower, getting all the sweat and dirt off, I had it. At least to some degree.

If money was no object, what would I do?
Well I love staying active. I like working with people. I like sales, marketing and advice. I'd like to leave my mark on the world. I like travelling and trying out new things. After that I stood there thinking Okay, but how can I do that?

My dreams and what I really want to do..... DRUM ROLL please

- I'd like to work for Travel Channel/Lonely Planet as a camera operator and travel the world and see different people and cultures
- I'd like to work with youth. To make a difference to the world.
- I'd like to run my own cafè, pub or B&B in the countryside
- I'd like to work as a personal trainer or tour guide

That's what I want to do. I don't want to sit in a office, shuffling papers. I don't want an A4 life, I'm terrified of that. Why should I wait until I'm 42 to have my mid life crisis? Why can't I have my mid life crisis now? Which I actually am...

Source: teNeues

I remember watching Travel Channel at my grandparents house in the 90s, because they had cable TV. Some of the stuff I saw was breathtaking. I couldn't all of what they were saying but that didn't matter. It was captivating. This year I spent my New Years Eve in London, the city with worlds most famous clock. Ever since I was a kid, I've dreamt about celebrating NYE in three places: New York, Sydney and London. Again this is due to what I saw on telly when I was a kid.

Credit: iStockphoto/Jacob Wackerhausen

The working with people bit has much to do with my mother, my upbringing, my job experience and volunteer work. My mother is one of the most caring people I know and I was raised with a good set of moral values. She's worked in a shelter for abused women and children and now currently works at day centre for people with mental disorders. I started working in a store when I was 15 and it taught me a lot about customer service and sales. And the volunteer work I did in 1st and 2nd year, gave so much joy. It gave me an amazing feeling seeing those kids/youths laugh and enjoy life.

I love staying active, so if I could do that as a career that'd be great. I actually considered this years ago. When I was...ehm... 17? I think, I went to a gym in Norway called Elexia. After attending several spinning classes, I actually sat down with one of the instructors and asked about how she got there, the joy and what else she did. That's how serious I was about that dream.

My point with all this, that there's loads of stuff we all enjoy doing. The challenge now is just to turn all that into a job. Don't EVER let other decide what should do in life. By all means, take advice from people. I know I've really appreciated the advice I've had of friends and family, just NEVER let anyone decide your future. The worst thing I hear is when people I know say I'm not allowed to take that subject/work as that, because my mother and father said no. Pardon my language, but TO HELL WITH THEM! Seriously grow a pair of balls and do it. Do what you want to do.

We need to stop dreaming and actually realise them! That's my New Years resolution: Stop caring what society say, fuck 'em. And get to my dreams.

If all this goes according to my plan/idea, you'll have a great suprise summer 2013. That summer is the one I'm taking control of my dreams and realising them. But I'm not going to say what I'm doing, that's a hush hush secret!

So have you got an answer yet? If money was no object, what would I do? Any thoughts you want to share?

One of my Facebook-friends posted this the other day. It's brilliant! Both the video and the song.
ENJOYYYYYY!

Today's song: Avivii vs. Romero - I could be the one