THIRD CULTURE ADULT

A documentary by Adrian Bautista about TCKs.

A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The TCK frequently builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture may be assimilated into the TCK's life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.

I know several people who are TCKs, who are born Norwegian, but spent half their life in Asian countries or people born in a different country that live in Norway. From what I've been told this can be a challenging life, but also an fun upbringing.

But I would like to talk about "normal" kids growing up in one country and then in later life becoming a "TCA", Third Culture Adult. I don't know if that's an official expression, but I just thought I'd start using it.

Being a third culture person in general is the feeling that you somehow belong to two (or more) different cultures. You feel a connection to several countries, that "home" is a hard word to define.

This is how I feel. I feel like a "TCA". My nationality is (and will always be) Norwegian and my home country is Norway. But if you were to ask me "Where is home?" I'd have a hard time answering that. Because I feel that here, Swansea, is my home. This is where my life is. But then again, I often refer to Norway as "home-home".

Top left; Norwegian flight from Norway to UK Top right:Wales-England border. Bottom left: Norwegian flight Bottom right: Train from Swansea to Gatwick

But what is home?

The dictionary defines "home" as follows:

              home - /hōm/
              Noun - The place where one lives permanently, esp. as a member of a family or household.

So a home is where you live? But it also says where you are part of a family or household. Then what defines family? I define family as the people closest to you that you can't push away no matter what. To me family isn't all about blood relation. Just cause you're blood, doesn't make you family. You've gotta earn that. I don't believe that just because you're blood you need to like each other, need to have contact or anything. Having said that, I've always believed that being close with your family is key and that there's very few things that beats a family dinner.
I consider my housemates, all 10 of them, to be like a family, a slightly dysfunctional family, but never the less a family. We might fight with each other, but we can't get rid of each other.
When I'm tired after a long day of uni, I say I'm going home.

So home is where you live and are a part of some type of community, but it may also change. Swansea would then be my home for now, but if I moved away then that place could be my new home.

The reason I've decided to write about this is because over the next few months, I'm faced with a choice. I have to choose where my home is going to be. A choice which many of my fellow international students face every year. Where will we end up? And quite frankly I'm absolutely terrified!

If anyone asks me if moving to a different country to live and study is worth it, I always said yes and that if you don't live at least a year in another country I think you're missing out on life, BUT.... there's one negative reason about living in a different country. The choice when your studies are done.

If I could split myself in two, I would. One part to Norway and one to stay here in the UK.
A part of me feel that the "right choice" is to move back to Norway because here I've got my parents, grandparents, sisters, uncles, aunties, cousins and friends. And it's also a logical choice because the unemployment rate is Norway is stupidly low. I mean, compared to other countries, it's so easy to actually get a job (any job that is) it's ridiculous. But then again, family and friends will always be there. As long as you're good to maintain contact through Facebook, Skype, email etc. it should be fine.

Then my other half feel a connection to UK and Wales after having spent 2.5 years so far here. I've built a life for myself here. I've got a bank account, job and friends. I know most of the staff in the gym I go to. It's a life.

Though I grew up in Norway, I actively looked for English in my childhood. When I was 13-14, I used to go to the library near where I lived and read The Times and Daily Mail. I watched BBC World News and BBC Entertainment (international BBC channel, not in the UK). I've read more English books (British mostly) than Norwegian in my life. I can't stand 90% of Norwegian films (a post for itself).
And I've got English family, which we (my family) don't have any contact with anymore, but still. I grew up in Norway with British traditions and language. I've never used the Norwegian word for "toast" (rista brød), I've always used the English word "toast". When my mum made pancakes I'd always have lemon and sugar on it. Or for Christmas, we'd normally never have the traditional Norwegian ribbe (whole side of pork). We always had ham roast, British tradition. The first thing I was taught in English was by grandma when I was a toddler, which was the nursing rhyme Humpty Dumpty. I was never taught the Norwegian version, Lille Trille.

My list goes on and on. Though I say I'm proud to be Norwegian, I wouldn't mind not saying it. If that made any sense. Like when people ask where in Wales/UK I'm from and I go I live in Swansea, but I'm originally from Norway and they get surprised and say they would never had guessed that, then I feel proud. I feel happy that I've integrated so well that they don't pick it up anymore.

Needless to say I'm a little culturally confused. Many people have all this. They grow up in a different country and/or with foreign family. And all this is mashed together at high speed and volà, the result is you. Depending on where in the world I get kids, I'd want them to be bilingual. If the kids were growing up in Norway, I'd still speak both English and Norwegian at home. And many people feel that way. They feel they want to give their child the best head start in life, to be able to explore.

I bought this book on eBay for 99p, a used former library book.

But when I graduate I don't want to settle down. I want to travel. I want to travel the world. And my plan is that if that goes alright, it could become my new career. Like Peter Pan said "I won't grow up". So neither country can have me. My dream is to work for Travel Channel and make the entire world my home. That way I won't let anyone down.

Q: Do you feel a bit like a TCK or "TCA"? What's your choice?


Never make your home in a place. Make a home for yourself inside your own head. You'll find what you need to furnish it - memory, friends you can trust, love of learning, and other such things. That way it will go with you wherever you journey. - Tad Williams


Today's song: Rascal Flatts - Life is a high